Hate my parents

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Hate my parents

Postby Jenny » Fri Sep 10, 2004 10:00 am

i feel so frustated with my adoptive parents they dont seem to understand how i feel :? I feel sad happy up an down. I want to see my birth mum but they say I need to be 18 is this true :cry: please someone advise me.


re: hate my parents

Postby lesley » Fri Sep 10, 2004 10:11 am

Hiya jenny
Sounds like you are feeling very frustrated at the moment. Its hard when feel your parent dont undestand you and you are not being listened to. The Law states that you have to be 18 to obtain any information about your adpoption if you do not have your parents consent. Have you told your parents how important it is for you to be able to talk to them about how you feel.

Postby lou » Wed Sep 22, 2004 11:12 am

hi jenny
i am adopted and really wanted to meet my birth parents from an early age, three years ago i met my birth mother (i was 16) i was told i was to young to do this at the time, but i had always been quite mature for my age and i really thought i was ready for it. i now realise i was much to young it was such a lot to deal with, i was not prepared for how much it effects every part or your life. i do still see my birth mum and her family, things are ok but still difficult. if i had read this message 3 years ago i would have thought i was different but my advice would be to wait as long as you can. Meeting your birth parents doent always make every thing fit in to place, but i do know how frustrated your feeling now.

Postby Paullondon » Mon Oct 04, 2004 1:53 pm

HI ya,
The law states that you do have to be 18 befor you can meet your birth parents. I now this dosnt help you but there is a artical 12 of the adoption act that says with consent of the Adopitive parents and your self you can contact Social Services to try to meet you Birth Partents.
If you would like more information on this then please call me on 07891103386 or add me to msn messenger if you use it paul22bri@hotmail.com.

Paul Orr
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Joined: Mon Oct 04, 2004 1:22 pm
Location: London

Postby kezzy » Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:23 am

dear jenny, i feel for you. :cry: your parent are trying to protect their own feelings here, and perhaps protect you from things that may upset you. thts no excuse hun, but you are not alone although it may feel that way, hook up with a support group, and dont keep your feelings inside.
luv kezzy
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2004 5:15 am
Location: austtralia

Postby shyne » Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:49 am

I don't get on with my adopters . The 'mother' died and the 'father' i hardley ever see and when i do i just get ignored . Adoption i think maybe because of bad experiences is crap . It does work for some people if the child is brainwashed but for me its a nightmare.

In a way you can't be rude or resentful to these people who take on other peoples children because they provide for you and your left with guilt and grattitude

I haven't been able to retrieve any of my documents YET. But i think that the law on you having to be 18 is shite.

What are you supposed to do until then . It makes you feel worse than you alredy do .
But everyone hates or dislikes their parents weather they are adopted or not so you need to pick yourself up .

I can relate to what your going through thouh . :lol:

x x x
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2004 1:27 am
Location: london

i hate my parents

Postby summer » Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:18 pm

hiya i now how you feel because myseif i want to find my real mum it is so hard, them feels nobody understands how we feel.
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Joined: Tue Jan 18, 2005 10:41 am

Postby Montraviatommygun » Wed Jan 19, 2005 12:59 pm

I know this is easier said than done but you have been given good advice so just try and take a deep breath and try to be patient. Although I can't imagine what it is like to be in your position I am on the other side of the coin as a bmum in reunion with my bson. He is 23 now and spent 5 years searching for me but I found him by accident last year. Not only has he had to deal with us being reunited but he has also had to deal with ongoing issues with his aparents.

Postby Hector » Wed Jan 19, 2005 4:25 pm

Don't rush in to this - it can really mess your head up.
I have always had contact with my bfamily thanks to my adparents and they have protected me from a lot of stuff I know - but I know all that there is to know and it has been really tough. I have a huge amount of respect for them for having the courage to deal with some pretty horrible stuff and all the rubbish from my bfamily - not that I appreciated it at the time of course. I am nearly 19 now and I am never going to get a sorry from my bmum for screwing up my life as she doesn't even think she did anything wrong which hurts me alot. I don't want her in my life nor my other half brother or half sisters as all they mean is pain - i don't even like them and have nothing to say to them.
I know now how lucky I am to have such understanding adparents but for a long time I didn't even give them a chance because I was so angry and it wasn't even their fault - my anger was to do with my bmum and bdad betraying me. Just be sure of who you really are annoyed at and why!
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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2004 1:15 pm


Postby gwilson451 » Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:23 pm

i know how you feel i hate my adoptive parents so much so that i live on my own and don't talk to them. can i ask exactly how old you are because if you are over 16 you will be able to talk to someone about it and if you let me know the area where you live i will find out the information and get you the relavent contact numbers. my brother was only 16 when he found his birth parents so they may be able to help you. write back and i might be able to help you. just remember to keep your chin up.

Re: Hate my parents

Postby lilly » Tue Feb 08, 2005 1:56 pm

Jenny wrote:i feel so frustated with my adoptive parents they dont seem to understand how i feel :? I feel sad happy up an down. I want to see my birth mum but they say I need to be 18 is this true :cry: please someone advise me.


hi ya i hate my adopted parents they treat me like shit all the time and stuff having really big problems at the minute and stuff i am sooooooooooooo stressed out and stuff any way talk soon luv lilly xxxxxxx
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Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2005 1:30 pm

Postby karen » Wed Feb 09, 2005 11:52 am

:lol: Hi you do not have to be 16. I was 14 when I wanted to meet my b.mum. I asked my school counsellor and they contacted social services. It does help if you have the support of your a.parents. It really did not work out in the end. My mum didnt want anything to do with me. But I am still in contact with my sister and I have met all my cousins. We get on, but it is really difficult with my b.mum. LOL :lol: Karen

Postby schotty » Tue Feb 15, 2005 1:24 am

27 when i finaly met my bmum and i opened a can of worms , i wasnt ready for the reality of a hundred inlaws cramering to see the new arrival ive been through all this stuff before 20 odd years ago i know that the pain of not knowing was easier to deal with than the truth .......but thats only me IVE DONE IT and iam still going and i like to think stronger for it so keep your strenth dont lose it with your adoptive parents . they might just be looking out for you?

Postby pink239 » Wed Feb 23, 2005 7:24 pm

hi jenny, im jenny too. I am also an adoptee and 17. I know exactly how you feel when i was 16 i spoke to my parents about getting my birth certificate and they went mad. I dropped the subject but deep inside i couldn't stop thinking about it and spent alot of time feeling down and depressed. I knew i had to though cause i knew if i brought it up again it would hurt my parents sooo much. I didn't want to do that to them. After i turned 17 though i brought it up again but i gave it a more mature approach. I think then they realised they knew i would be ready. So only a few months ago i got my birth certificate as i live in scotland and you can get it at 16 here. Everybody told me my parents wouldn't let me get my birth certificate because they knew i wasnt old enough and wouldn't be able to cope. I thought at the time that i was definitly but now looking i knew i wasn't. I'm glad i waited a while to grow up a bit more and i'm sure your parents aren't letting you because they just want to protect you cause your THEIR daughter and don't like the idea that your not. Honestly it is worth the wait. As it was the best thing i ever did getting my birth certificate and sometimes i still can't believe i actually did it. xxxx
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